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Posts in category Technology

CGI Rendering of American Stereotype Celebrating Bin Laden’s Death Looks Surprising Lifelike

May 4, 2011 | COMMENTS (2)

The last few days, a video has been circulating the Internet showing the computer-generated image of a stereotypical American celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden. The astoundingly realistic rendering of a white man with a handgun and an American flag driving a four-wheeler through a field shouting, “Wooo! Wooo! USA, USA,” has experts puzzled.

The attention to detail in the CGI clip had many questioning whether it may in fact have been an actual American citizen who was so moved by the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death that he fastened a large American flag to his ATV, loaded the magazine in his handgun, attached his video camera to a tripod in his backyard and recorded a celebratory video.

While the creator of this clip still remains unknown, many credit the video to a UK computer graphics firm contracted by the British government in order to remind the world that in spite of last week’s ostentatious royal wedding that many thought incongruous with the current economic climate, Americans are still way more annoying than the Brits.

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Filthy Earth Day Communist Hippies Brainwash Innocent American Children

April 25, 2011 | COMMENTS (0)

The New American has uncovered an insidious plot to convert America’s children into Communist revolutionaries. The startling expose points out that the date of Earth Day was chosen as April 22nd to coincide with the birthday of Vladimir Lenin, the late Soviet leader and staunch environmentalist who notoriously promoted green economic policies to ensure a clean, sustainable future.

The shocking anti-capitalist indoctrination of Earth Day supporters was caught on film at the Riverwood Elementary School in Tennessee in a song with lyrics such as, “Boycott, petition, let the big business know/that if we mess it up here, there’s nowhere else we can go.”

Exposing the truism that environmentalism is by nature anti-capitalist, and could never lead to innovation or profit, Earth Day Truthers point out that proceeds from the American-made Chevrolet Volt, Motor Trend Magazine’s very first electric Car of the Year, will be sent directly to Comrade Obama for the greater good.

Similarly, the recent announcement that Google will be purchasing 100.8 megawatts of clean, renewable energy from NextEra Energy Resources’ Minco II wind farm, in addition to the 114 megawatts of wind-generated power from NextEra’s Story II wind farm in Iowa drives home the anti-capitalist bent of renewable energy, as Google is expected to funnel its profits into collective farming plots across the U.S.

This video is just the tip of the not-really-shrinking iceberg for these dangerous Leninist environmental radicals, who seek an “end to human procreation,” and who are using “our tax money to indoctrinate our children into hating their parents if they serve meat to the family.”

The Green Education Foundation hang themselves with their own words...

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Shaden-Friday: Android Users Finally Have Something to Brag About

April 22, 2011 | COMMENTS (0)

It turns out that Rockwell’s Orwellian paranoia was justified. Somebody is indeed watching you, and it’s Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs.

According to a letter the company sent to U.S. Reps. Edward Markey (D-Mass.) and Joe Barton (R-Texas) last year, Apple’s iPhone automatically transmits to itself location information about users of its smartphones. This became newsworthy this week in light of findings from two researchers who uncovered a file on iPhones that keeps a record of where the phone has been and when it was there. The file is unencrypted and stored by default.

Apple gathers the data to help build a "database with known location information.” This information is batched and then encrypted and transmitted to Apple over a Wi-Fi Internet connection every twelve hours.

Lawmakers are now asking for answers regarding the privacy concerns surrounding the iPhone and iPad tracking. Senator Al Franken (D-Minn.), wrote a letter to Apple CEO Steve Jobs asking for a response to what he calls “serious privacy concerns.” Franken is the chairman of the Senate Subcommittee on Privacy, Technology and the Law.

It would seem that location-based social networking sites such as Foursquare, Facebook Places and Twitter have all been completely unnecessary. The proverbial tree in the forest did make a sound, as Steve Jobs was there to hear it...

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Curious About Jewish Zombies? There’s an App For That

April 20, 2011 | COMMENTS (2)

LifeWay Christian Resources has announced the release of the Resurrection iWitness iPad app. Available now at iTunes for $9.99, iWitness is a highly interactive experience that takes people through the collection of evidence for the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Aaron Linne, executive producer of digital marketing for LifeWay's B&H Publishing Group says, "This app offers more than just text on a page. It is a tactile, sensory exploratory experience where users discover clues about the resurrection and alternative theories surrounding the resurrection of Jesus Christ."

While historically opposed to science and innovation, the Christian church has recently come to embrace the proselytizing opportunities that technology presents. Apple founder Steve Jobs was fortunate enough to be alive at a time when his technological innovations such as the iPad do not put him at risk of being burned at the stake for witchcraft.

Exploring the historical evidence for what happened to Jesus after his death, iWitness details the following theories...

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Shaden-Friday: Westboro Baptist Church Website Hacked

March 25, 2011 | COMMENTS (0)

A hacker named The Jester has managed to disable the Westboro Baptist Church website for the last four weeks. The “denial of service” attack by the unknown “hacktivist” has rendered the controversial church’s website and secondary websites inoperable for nearly a month. There has been no comment made by Westboro leader Fred Phelps, nor by his army of dead-eyed prairie maidens.

Westboro recently made headlines when the Supreme Court ruled in their favor that the funeral protests of the Kansas-based church were protected under the First Amendment. When reached for comment on the cyber-attack, Matthew Shepard buried his bank shot, handed the cue to Frank Sinatra, downed the rest of his Manhattan and said, "payback's a bitch."

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Facebook Co-Founder Mark Zuckerberg Named Time Magazine's Person of the Year

December 21, 2010 | COMMENTS (0)

Americans too busy talking about themselves on Facebook to notice.

In related news, Time magazine still exists.

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